There is so much hustling around me. It’s a word I see everywhere, nearly every day. I know I have the “cookies” and algorithms to thank for that because, for quite a long time, I thought that is what I was supposed to be doing, and now it is my newsfeeds imprint.
Hustling…
I mean, I see women hustling all the time. Whether it be the mom-preneur carving out a superstar career, mom bosses running successful businesses or women coaches/influencers/podcasters all on the hustle.
These hustlers are all about women empowerment.
About women being more assertive, more powerful, more successful. Being the breadwinner in their life, not having to rely on a man, woman or goat offering, and it’s their success and growth stories that inspire others. Me included.
It is often about women who faced insurmountable obstacles, and yet from those obstacles, they grew, roared and won. They developed a thicker skin, skin that could make them walk through fire … I am exaggerating here … but tough skin that made them more resilient and fierce.
And I am here for it! I really am. I just don’t think it’s me. Because with the hustle comes the busy. With the “busy” comes the brain fog, the anxiety, the “what the fuck am I forgetting to do”, the grind, the merry-go-round, the sleepless nights…
But I’m here to say that that’s ok …
We are not all the same, even though some of those hustlers may tell me it’s just my comfort zone talking and to push through it. It might well be, but something inside my soul tells me it’s not. It tells me of the power I have in my femininity, my core, my heart centre. And it also tells me that not all of us are born to hustle.
Just like not all of us are born to be Mums. Or wives. Or receptionists. Or models. Or any other stereotypical “woman” that has been designed, boxed and wrapped in a media gift guide.
So what if your version of successful actually looked very different from the other, more popular social media versions of success and expectations on women of the world today?
What if your power was found in simple roars.
In small roars.
In quiet roars.
What if you “hustling harder” just so you can announce to the world how busy you are isn’t for you? Since when did “busy” and “exhaustion” become the tools to measure your success.
What if being thick-skinned meant you would have to toss out some of the values that you actually love about yourself? Like being sensitive, empathetic, gentle and craving real connections. Like seeing people as people with their own life stories rather than seeing people as numbers or dollar signs… shouting “NEXT” once you’re done with them.
What if hustling made your skin crawl and your anxiety feed, but yet you are told repeatedly that you have to break through your comfort zone to be considered a successful woman – like there’s a badge.
What if its not your comfort zone that you’d be breaking – just your zone. Your happy place. A place you feel absolute comfort but also where you feel most like yourself.
Because that’s me, I have struggled and fought against that flow and for the longest time, because I had decided I was in my comfort zone and I had to push through it. Right?
Wrong. I’m forty-plus-something, and I know when to call bullshit on myself. This isn’t it that time.
I’m a writer. At my core, that is honest to goodness truth of my soul. I have fought with it, and I have
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just my version of success. It isn’t loud. It isn’t in drum beating, chest-pounding, ego-stroking. It isn’t pushing boundaries or beating men at “the game” (p.s there isn’t one). It’s not about earning the big bucks or getting public accolades, or travelling the world preaching myself.
I just want to do me. Me working in a job I love, writing words that mean something to me and breathing in as much peace and serenity in the smallest of increment if necessary because, let’s be honest, I’m a Mum and a FIFO wife, so it’s not readily available. But I won’t fill those spaces with busy. They will be filled with breath.
I’m not sure why words like “strong” and “powerful” have become so intoxicating? Or why there is all of this pushing, pulling, straining and forcing women to be something louder, bolder, harder?
Why, when I believe that being feminine is the most powerful thing we can ever be. It is our advantage.
We are, by nature, the nurturers. This is comfort.
We are, by nature, listeners. This is soft.
We are, by nature, fierce. This is fearless.
Strong can be all of those things without the roar. Just think of Princess Diana. She is the epitome of all those soft, feminine things, yet she is one of the most influential royals there ever was. She always led with her heart. She did it through silence or a softly spoken voice. Still, she was heard above all else because her comfort and softness spoke louder than anything else.
If you are like me, stop forcing yourself to be anything you are not or don’t want to be without denying or ripping yourself off if you are hiding in the comfort zone.
Give yourself permission to accept your quiet, your feminine, your warmth. It is a gift to ourselves and a gift we give to others when immersed in it wholeheartedly. This is what shapes and defines us as women. As strong and fierce women. Women who stand in their power and not somebody else’s version.
LD ||
Reality Writes by London Dene 